*Trigger Warnings; abuse, death threats*
The point of this post is brief and I’m choosing to leave out names because the situation is real and serious.
Last night a friend of mine posted a status about when people are abusive and their “friends” continue to support them, they are only enabling the abuser. I know the constant “Facebook statuses are stupid go out and be a real activist” argument. This doesn’t apply here. This amazing person is an activist on and off the Internet and because of her amazing work, Facebook is a great place for her to spread even more of her amazingness.
Sadly, we live in a society where men’s feelings and the need to protect their pride matter more than women victims. Side note, I know women are abusers and men are victims but unfortunately we see more of the opposite. Society constantly reaffirms that women are the weaker sex and no matter what standards are thrown our way, it doesn’t matter what we do, we can never live up to them.
The first respond you hear about women reporting or coming forward about abuse is “they could be lying”, “woman are crazy”, “not all men”. But no one ever seems to care that the woman is actually a victim of abuse. It’s sad when women won’t even stand beside other women but men who go the distance to show they haven’t done anything wrong, even after you can pull up their convictions online, is scary.
When the ex-wife who is open about her past situation and this man does have convictions you can pull up and surprise! The stories don’t match up. This man has the audacity to get his friends to send my friend death threats via Facebook but he says nothing to her about it. But he writes about how my friend should be courageous and contact him directly. Hypocritical? Manipulating? Playing the good guy? Typical abuser traits.
Without spending two minutes on his Facebook page you can tell what kind of person he is and that any word he types should not be believed. He was not the one being abused, he is not the one getting threatened, he is not the one that will live with anxiety, he is not the one that has to worry at night.
The ex-wife and my friend are only two of the many strong, courageous, brave women who speak out about injustices and they should not be suffering because of it. Women’s rights are important in feminism but so are men’s rights. We need to live in a society that is NOT ok with men abusing women and continuing to make them suffer when they are the heroines.
Death threats are unacceptable to anyone. There is never a reason you should actively go out of your way to make someone feel unsafe and fear for their life. You want to be real men? Respect women and stand up as an ally, don’t stand for abuse.