I woke up this morning feeling happy because I dreamt of some really cute kittens and I could remember how soft and chubby they felt. My thoughts switched from wanting to be a kitten foster again to worrying about what to write for my blog post this week.
I’ve found that over the last few weeks, I’ve been having trouble deciding on what topic to write about. Did something happen that week that bothered me? Did something happen in the news that bothered me? Did someone make a comment that was offensive? Yes, yes, and yes.
So why can’t I write about these things?
Feminism, to me, is something I’m constantly moving around in and figuring out where I fit. Compared to when I first discovered what feminism was and that I could fit into it, my thoughts, beliefs mindset have changed. In four years, I’ve experienced things, learnt things, met people with different ideas than me, which have all pushed me to explore feminism in a deeper sense.
It also became clear to me that there are different forms and levels to feminism. As a white woman, I have a privileged feminism. As an able-bodied woman, I have a privileged feminism. As a cisgender person, I have a privileged feminism. As a straight-passing person, I have a privileged feminism. But, as a queer woman, I also experience oppressions on a daily basis.
I believe I’m an intersectional feminist. For example, as a woman, I can relate and share my experiences to other women. By relating and sharing my experiences I can learn about oppressions that, for example, a black woman might experience and how they are different than mine. So as a white able-bodied queer woman, I feel like I connect with a lot of people and also learn about a lot of people.
But at the same time that I feel free in feminism, I feel limited to only my feminism. Over the last few weeks, there have been many articles and feminist groups on my Facebook page that have been talking about and analyzing certain issues that I feel like if I were to write about it or express my opinions on a public platform, it would come off as a privileged, oppressive piece because of my privileges.
On the flip side of that, as a white woman feminist, I can be accused of only being a “white feminist” and only being worried about issues that affect my oppressions and me.
I struggle with finding a middle balance in that respect. I do acknowledge my oppressions and privileges and how they are different from other peoples but how do I learn and have conversations about other people’s oppressions when some platforms don’t want to hear from me?
Since I’ve been struggling with this, I’ve found that I’m taking on a “lazy feminist” attitude. I have internal dialogues or conversations with people I’m comfortable with but won’t push myself to actually engage in discussions on some topics.
As I’m writing this post now, I feel like I’m whining and privileged because I can take time to figure out where I want to be in feminism. At the same time, I think it’s a good thing to question your privileges, oppressions, intersectionality and solidarity.
So, the conclusion I can draw from this post is that I’m confused about where to fit into feminism and in turn I’m having a tough time committing and writing about issues.