Bye

Well, 2016, what can I say. You destroyed me.

You broke my heart and tested everything that I am.

But, I made it. I’m here. I’ve made it to 2017 – something I didn’t think would happen.

You brought the most amazing people into my life, even if for just a short amount of time. You showed me that being my own person is a priority I neglected for to long. You showed me that when my heart hurts, other people’s, my friends, are hurting too. You showed me empathy and compassion. You showed me that I’m strong – even on days when I can’t get out of bed or can’t stop crying. You showed me I can make it one day to another. You showed me I care.

You showed me that existing is an intense, complex concept that I don’t think I still fully understand. You showed me taking pictures and being a part of nature is the only moment that I truly know what existing means. You showed me I can do the impossible. You showed me new sides of myself, good and bad.

You showed me love in my darkest moments. You showed me hate in my brightest moments. You showed me numbness on good days, and pure heart break on bad days.

You showed me friendship is a powerful, unconditional type of love. You showed me that my friends are the most important aspects in my life. You gave me the opportunity to reconnect to some of them, and you’ve given me a chance to deepen friendships that have, quite frankly, saved my life.

You showed me I can make it.

So.

Dear 2017,

You might need to give me a moment to trust you. There will still be days I can’t get out of bed, and I’ll still have days when the tears won’t stop flowing. But, I think if we work together, it can be a great year and this hurt will heal.

To everyone I love, thank you. Thank you for all of your support and constant love. I hope 2017 is easier for all of you. I hope 2016 has given you a reason to keep existing and to keep growing.

To everyone who has kept me alive, you know who you are, and I love you.

Cheers.